Politeness Is a Lie

Wherein we discover the true value of getting your nose bloodied.

Q: Why are some people such pricks during critiques?

A: Because they’re your friends.

I recently sat in on a critique where a designer, let’s call him Tim, was showing work they intended to present to a client the next day. The designer was young, yet promising. The other designers critiquing the work were also young. Some more promising. Some less so. And they all worked together at the same agency.

The work itself wasn’t bad. Tim had gotten it as far as they could, and was hitting a cycle of diminishing returns. Time to get other people’s feedback. The presentation of the work was bad. Tim couldn’t recall the goals of the project. Couldn’t give solid reasoning as to why they’d made the decisions he’d made. None of this was surprising considering where Tim was in his career.

What happened next was the interesting part.

We went around and solicited feedback from the group. To a person, they gave Tim positive feedback. They found small little details to praise. They applauded the obvious effort that went into the work. They made Tim feel confident about the work.

It is important to be supportive of each other. After all, that’s what friends do.

Now let’s fast-forward to the next day, because this will be the really interesting part. This young confident designer will walk into a client’s office. He will present his work in front of people whose jobs depend on the outcome of this project. They will ask how the work meets their goals. He’ll choke. They’ll ask him why certain decisions were made. He’ll nervously make some shit up. He’ll start sweating profusely. The marketing director on the client side will start making suggestions. And Tim will lose control of the meeting. He may or may not recover his confidence with years of therapy. And Bob the CEO may even call the head of the design firm to complain about the quality of Tim’s work and lack of salesmanship in the presentation, which reflects badly on the firm.

Let’s go back to that design critique. Because that’s where Tim got screwed. The people in that critique had a responsibility to give Tim honest feedback about his work. They also had an opportunity to help Tim improve both the work and to practice the presentation the next day. That would have been the true meaning of support. To point out where one of your own is in danger and to help them avoid it.

You wanna be nice to other designers? Great, you should be. But that means helping them avoid going into situations unprepared. That means giving them real feedback. That means helping them get better by offering the truth they need to hear.

So the next time someone tears down your work during a critique you thank them. They’re the best friend you have in that room. Better to get your nose bloodied in a critique of your peers, than to be slaughtered in a client’s conference room.

Mike Monteiro is a nice guy or a total asshole depending on your opinion. He is also the Design Director at Mule Design. And the author of Design Is a Job andYou’re My Favorite Client.